Jesus talks about going to Jerusalem and that he will be rejected by leaders of the
people, suffer greatly, die and rise again. Peter just confessed Jesus as Son of God
and Jesus shared his authority with Peter and the disciples. Peter imagined to exercise
his power in a new kingdom like that of king David. Peter knew Jerusalem was hostile
to Jesus and going there means sure death. Peter felt his dreams shattered; what good
could possibly come from suffering and dying? This is disturbing, and he says, let no
harm happen to you Lord! Jesus: get behind me satan! Peter, a while ago was made
the foundation of the church, is now an obstacle. Satan means deceiver, tempter!
There is tension in us, our way that often contradicts the way of God! Peter felt like
Jeremiah: ‘I have had enough; you duped me Lord; what you said is burning in my
heart; I cannot endure it’. In our struggles, this could be our feelings too, especially in
the pandemic.
Jesus, then says, carry your cross to follow me, lose life to find it, give up to gather
again! We confess, Jesus as Son of God, celebrate the Eucharist, because of his dying
and showing us the greater reality of life in his resurrection. If he just died and buried
like an ordinary Rabbi, we wouldn’t be here today and would have considered him like
Socrates, Buddha or Confucius. Human instinct is often self-preservation and
domination; the way of Christ is self-giving and transformation. The dying or
renouncing path is to know oneself; it is dying to ignorance, selfishness, arrogance,
hatred, violence and center life on gifts of the Spirit, wisdom, understanding,
discernment and awareness of journeying with God. Losing is not a good feeling; it is
crushing every inch of hardness of heart to give oneself in loving service. Peter went
through shameful transforming experience and learned to give up his life for Christ; he
overcame his fears, shame and doubts. Paul calls Christian life a living sacrifice,
transitioning from temptation to be self-centered to other centered! Self-centered life is
a fear motivated path, self-giving is motivated by love of Christ in us. It is like the grain
of wheat falls to the ground [die] and serves its purpose by growing and bearing fruit.
Writer Catherine Nerney writes about her dad who had severe dementia and in a
nursing home. ‘My brother Tom said to me, ‘I don’t know why we even keep coming,
week after week. Dad has no idea we are even here. There is nothing that we can do
for him; he is just there. In this sense of loss, I felt something rising up in me and I said:
you are right Tom, there seems to be nothing we can do for dad but may be there is
something dad still wants to do for us. I am still trying to uncover all that dad was
doing for me as I faced his diminishment-his being handed over, abandoning every gift
he had been given. One by one, all that we knew and loved about dad was taken away
from him: from his laughter, loving caring heart that made room for everyone, friends
who stopped by; all of it was given over. My dad seemed to teach me, every gift you
have, you will give back sooner or later, so give yourself away freely now; see all that
you have as gift, not as something you have earned that you should cling to!’
Diminishment [dying/losing experience] has the potential to create stories of sacrificial
love!
Cross/suffering is the challenge one faces to say yes to love, to Christ. Peter had to
unlearn his beliefs, go against how his body, mind would react to suffering and
surrender to Jesus, saying, Lord, you know that I love you. We honor Peter, Paul, and
in our times, Mother Teresa for letting themselves be challenged by the self-giving
example of Christ. Listen to the voices inside of letting go unhappy, negative self and
welcome the voices of love and self-giving.