Story of a grandmother celebrating her golden wedding anniversary who told the
secret of her long happy marriage: She says, on my wedding day, I decided to make a
list of ten of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of the marriage, I would overlook.
Someone asked her what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. She
replied, to tell you the truth, I never did get around to making that list. But whenever my
husband did something that made me mad, I would say to myself, lucky for him that is
one of the ten.
In the name of all disciples and for the sake of the church, Peter asks Jesus, how often
must I forgive someone who does wrong to me, seven times? Jesus says, not seven,
seventy seven times or offering forgiveness is part of following Jesus! Why does Jesus
say so or is it practical what he asks us to do? Growing up and later in life we all
experience hurt from parents, siblings, teachers, friends, coworkers, priests, spouses
etc. Resentments, grudge can invade us like cancer; as long as they remain in us we
don’t receive healing! We the church is a living reality, always interacting with each
other and called to reflect Christ in us. Forgiveness is something that flows from our
connectedness to Christ. We are pilgrims on the way of Christ, and forgiveness is a
‘walking’ about change from within and offering forgiveness is with the hope the
offender would repent and change heart. Reluctance to walk the way is our struggle!
Following Jesus is about challenging our hardness of heart and to acknowledge our
need for change and God’s mercy.
The reason we should forgive is that God is Abba/Father and in the Lord’s prayer we
say: forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Our
relationship with God is not a reward and punishment system. God is forgiving, healing
and reconciling. It is said, ‘God punishes our sins by loving us more’; it is prodigal love!
Jesus’s forgiving love welcomes back the prodigal son, brings dignity and meaning to
tax-collector Zacchaeus and Mathew his disciple; this forgiving love that restores the
sinner gave many chances to Peter the denier to learn simply to love. God forgives but
if we don’t forgive, do we deserve forgiveness? In the parable, the higher official
mistreated the lower official and made the forgiveness he received a mockery. St.
Francis: ‘It is in pardoning, we are pardoned’! Forgiving, we receive the grace of
freedom to love.
Forgiving an offender is not tolerating wrong doings! How do we deal with terrorism,
mafia, and who engage in violent death culture? Forgiving is to end hatred, violence
and the cycle of injustice; its goal is to restore just order, peace within oneself, in
relationships, in community. In forgiving, we decide not to deepen wounds or further
divide but to heal! Forgiveness is to awaken the goodness in us, every time we feel
hurt. Sin is multiplying in the world, to contain it a greater measure of goodness [mind
of Christ] is needed. Forgiveness offers a path of redemption to those who do terrible
things to us, seeing the offender as our neighbor whom Christ wishes to heal through
us. Unforgiving is being trapped in the past; mutual forgiving attitude of a Christian is
out of care and love! Pope Francis speaking in Assisi: ‘the world needs forgiveness.
Too many people are caught up in resentment and they harbor hatred, because they
are incapable of forgiving. They ruin their lives and the lives of those around them,
rather than finding joy and peace’. With forgiveness [not forgetting], peace Christ offers
dwells in our hearts!